In case you don't know?

The big news that is out right now is that Jennifer Knapp is out.(She's a lesbian)


And like many others, I'll be interested to hear the reactions from all corners of the earth as this story continues to materialize. 

But it's sad isn't it that this makes such big press.

.... and it's not just this.. . It's Constance from Mississippi, It's Gays trying to get divorced in Texas...

The ignorance is getting old. 




  

Loved this video!

Vote this up in the Webbys! 

My faith or lack thereof (Part 1)

I have hesitated for sometime to bring up the topic of "my faith" on this blog. Probably because I'm not sure I have one, and I'm not sure I want people to know that.

Unfortunately, the most tangible parts of my religious upbringing have always been the fairly morally dogmatic, so I've often wondered if things had been different would that have affected the final outcome. Even though, my questioning on a theological sense began well before I ever questioned the practices.

My initial concern about belief started when I was quite young, I didn't understand the concept of the sinner's prayer. We were taught in church that if we confessed our love to Jesus, then we would be saved (from hell that is). Clearly, I wanted to be saved, hell had already been imprinted on my mind as a terrible place. However, it did not make sense that this prayer could work. I would ask my dad questions like "Is that it?", "Which way do I say it?". So much emphasis was on this prayer that I had to do it right. Consequently, I prayed it many times in many ways throughout my growing up years, just to be sure. In the end I think I was looking for some sort of confirmation like a big shining light from above showing me the truth. People at church would share such stories, but I never experienced it.

Sometimes when I was young I would lay awake at night, wondering if the whole thing was made up. Perhaps there was nothing in the afterlife, or worse yet one of the other religions is true and we are all going to hell. I worried about all the people that hadn't said the prayer right - "What was their fate?", and "How many sins was too many sins?" I never knew if I was okay. I would explain some of these thoughts to my parents and they were always willing to provide me with a helpful resource. At this point, I became introduced to the world of apologetics. One of the first books I read was Dinosaurs and the Bible.  Keep in mind here I was no more than 12.  I read other books too, as well as exploring many other resources.  I was also exposed to Church camps, and retreats and many other fun and truly dynamic experiences.

All of these experiences were wonderful to me, and as I became more and more involved those experiences the seeds of doubt began to erode.  I made a decision when I was 14 to say no more doubt or missteps I am going to be a Christian for always!.... and for the most part this was the end of my questioning.

Until I graduated from high school and....

CASH event.

Items of Note:

* Met Hement Mehta (proof located to the left)

*Hubby came to one of my wierd events and enjoyed himself

*Lots of Geeks and Engineers at this event.... hmmmm.

Killing Two Birds with One Stone!

So one thing I love to do is keep up with my shows on hulu.com , however that is not the healthiest activity... duh! So now I am trying something new... I am doing the 5 minute workouts available at MSN.com.  They are easy, and can be done while watching TV.  Not to mention they fit my attention span. Seriously - one of the reasons I don't like to work out is that it bores me!  haha

Questions on Love and Dating

My Answers from Matt's (The Church of No People's Blog) "Love" survey

When did you start dating?
My parents had the "16" rule, not that I had any big drama to contest this. Though I went stag to my Freshman Formal - but so did all my friends.

Did you have a "must have" list for a spouse?
Nothing too formal, but I did always want someone who was smart and somewhat nerdy. My husband is a programmer and a phenomenal Chess player - so I got it!

How did you know he/she was the one?
I could probably write a whole post on why I knew My Hubby was made for me... though I believe there is more than one person that can work for you - I think finding one of the ones that works is still very difficult.

But here goes: 
He wanted a familty, He pursued self-improvement, He was successful, He desired to find truth, and most of all he wanted me for what was on the inside. You see - I come in a fairly pretty package (I'm not a knock out or anything), and a lot of guys can't/don't get past the exterior.  While it's always fun to have a certain sort of attention; I have a brain too people!   I know "visual" is a big deal - but I've always loved my husband for seeing more of me. He's also very progressive, and would be fine with me having an awesome career (in fact: encourages it!). Nothing he does makes me feel like I need to be the "typical wife."

What do you do to annoy your spouse?
 forget my keys! and I do it ALL the time

Who do you know that's divorced?
I feel like the answer is "too many people"... but at the same time I know that divorce can be a unwanted solution to MUCH bigger problems.  I guess it's still pretty sad though, and I don't wish it on anybody. 

Did you (or do you) have a list of what you're looking for in a mate?
I've had lists - I believe at one time it included "Packer Fan."  My husband doesn't know what Football is, so this is pretty funny.

Barbie is now an Engineer!

The Article

I generally think this is good news! as Barbie has been a doctor and a pilot, but has yet to find herself in the remaining male dominated field of engineering.  Though she is a Computer Engineer as opposed to a Manufacturing Engineer (which would of course be better hint: that's my degree)... I use to be a camp counselor at an ALL GIRLS engineering camp and this totally think this fits one of the components which is " you can be cute and smart".  Usually I am not a big fan of Barbie - as I think she boasts an unobtainable standard of looks and I have been quoted as saying "my (future) children will never own a Barbie".  However, this seems a positive direction for her, also because of a recent conference I attended where it was suggested that one issue with lack of female representation in Engineering and Design fields is lack of role models.  So despite my feelings about Barbie - she has been an icon - and therefore will continue to be role model for young girls whether we like it or not.  I guess this gives me a bit of hope for future generations of girls.... amongst all the sex icons there is a bit of a silver lining.

How do you feel about Barbie and her 125+ careers?

LOST GEEK - Right here!

I got hooked on Lost a little late in the game via my hubby.  Before that I didn't care much for TV that wasn't centered around humor - anyway somehow I am now roped in. 

In any case you have not seen LOST yet - catch up here!

If you have seen LOST then follow the link anyway -because it's actually funnier if you have seen it - I think.  Because it smartly mocks the often psychotic plot lines found in the show. 

I was an unpopular Cheerleader... or recognition and if it matters.

Yes, I was a cheerleader - most of you don't know me that well so that may or may not be a surprise... but trust me to the people that do - It's a surprise.  However, I wasn't very popular.  So how did this happen -breaking the age old law of high school social class.  Well a few things:

1) I was on the "Hockey"squad.  Despite the fact that I lived in the "Hockey State" and despite the fact that Hockey is awesome! - this was not the cool squad to be on.  (Correct Answer: Basketball)

2) As I mentioned earlier I lived (and live)  in the Hockey State (Minnesota). Cheerleading wasn't nearly the thing it is in the South.  And at my school - it was even less of a thing.  (Though it is a thing there now). Needless to say it wasn't a free ride to the A class.

It mattered to me then that I wasn't cool, and it bothered me that I couldn't just fix it my joining a "sport".  As time as gone - the desire to be "popular" has pretty much diminished entirely from my life.   In college I was recognized, and had a vast circle of friends.  I even partied with the cheerleaders! lol.  When I graduated I thought this sort of recognition might continue - and to a great extent the experience has given me the confidence to be myself regardless.  However, I felt there was a similar sort of "high-school" social system at the last place I worked.  It was awkward because I had grown past any need to play "social games", but at times I still felt a sense of being an outcast.  Some of the same insecurities I had in high-school cropped up from time to time and it made me feel helpless.  As soon as I left most of those feelings were gone.  Problem solved.

Not quite - I'm left with a scared feeling that whatever high-school awkwardness, uncoolness, insecurites? aren't gone, but just minimized by environment.  Do you think that how we were treated in highschool affects who we are?  Should it?       

Twittering

So I have decided to tread a little deeper into the world of twitter - For those of you who are in the big leagues is there anything I need to know? and... oh yeah - follow me!  Thanks.

Babbler!

I am a talkative individual. No matter the topic I find a personal antidote from my life to babble on and on about. I have great friends who are great listeners, but unfortunately I know that the all to commonly the situation occurs where I am over powering the conversation and demanding constant attention to my life.

I have a couple theories as to why this is:

1) I am loathsome and selfish. I actually don't think this is true, but I am familiar with my Strengths, as everyone should be (sorry for the plug). But anyhow three of my top five are: Input, Ideation and Significance. That's like a triple whammy for HAS A BIG MOUTH. Or in other words I am someone who has lots of ideas, needs to share them, and desires to be important (errr hmmm....).

2) I was raised with supportive, but demanding parents. My parents wanted to know everything about my life. (and I DO MEAN EVERYTHING!) In fact, I'm 25 and I still think they want to know everything. That being said - for most of my life I told them everything. I couldn't just say I'll be out late, I had to qualify that. I knew that everything I did and said needed to be "explained". They were willing to listen - but I've come to realize that not everyone else needs that level of explanation from me. I can't just say "I'll have a hamburger" -- I have to say " I'll have a hamburger, because I know for a fact that these particular hamburgers are low calorie, and I really do enjoy the taste of beef, don't worry I agree grass fed is better, and by no means am I trying to disrespect the vegan population". One might assume here that this level of explanation is a bit exhausting, and one might be right.

3)A recent article in "Real Simple" magazine suggest that "lack of a proper outlet" and by this they mean "friends" may the core reason for "The Talker". Well, there might be some truth to this - Friend Time and Friend Count have both been declining variables since college. Also, I move out of my old chruch community, and while the interactions I was having there weren't always the highest quality - they were at least interactions. Also, I lost my job a few months ago, and while that job was mostly a stressful God-forsaken experience - I did have people to talk to there.

What's to come of all this - well I'm going to start posting more, which will mean not being as perfectionist about it. I write a lot of stuff and then I leave it in draft mode. Also, I start a new job monday that will require a lot of talking. So maybe I will find a balance soon. The last couple friend dates I've had have been pretty much me dumping my entire life onto them as fast and as ruthlessly as possible.