Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I was an unpopular Cheerleader... or recognition and if it matters.

Yes, I was a cheerleader - most of you don't know me that well so that may or may not be a surprise... but trust me to the people that do - It's a surprise.  However, I wasn't very popular.  So how did this happen -breaking the age old law of high school social class.  Well a few things:

1) I was on the "Hockey"squad.  Despite the fact that I lived in the "Hockey State" and despite the fact that Hockey is awesome! - this was not the cool squad to be on.  (Correct Answer: Basketball)

2) As I mentioned earlier I lived (and live)  in the Hockey State (Minnesota). Cheerleading wasn't nearly the thing it is in the South.  And at my school - it was even less of a thing.  (Though it is a thing there now). Needless to say it wasn't a free ride to the A class.

It mattered to me then that I wasn't cool, and it bothered me that I couldn't just fix it my joining a "sport".  As time as gone - the desire to be "popular" has pretty much diminished entirely from my life.   In college I was recognized, and had a vast circle of friends.  I even partied with the cheerleaders! lol.  When I graduated I thought this sort of recognition might continue - and to a great extent the experience has given me the confidence to be myself regardless.  However, I felt there was a similar sort of "high-school" social system at the last place I worked.  It was awkward because I had grown past any need to play "social games", but at times I still felt a sense of being an outcast.  Some of the same insecurities I had in high-school cropped up from time to time and it made me feel helpless.  As soon as I left most of those feelings were gone.  Problem solved.

Not quite - I'm left with a scared feeling that whatever high-school awkwardness, uncoolness, insecurites? aren't gone, but just minimized by environment.  Do you think that how we were treated in highschool affects who we are?  Should it?       

1 comment:

Matt @ The Church of No People said...

Ruby, thanks for the kind words on my blog.

I am totally with you. I was not the coolest kid in school. I dealt with my share of bullies. And I still look over my shoulder in public, thinking someone's about to start making fun of me, which is of course, ridiculous. My insecurities haven't left, just been minimized by growing up.