Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I was an unpopular Cheerleader... or recognition and if it matters.

Yes, I was a cheerleader - most of you don't know me that well so that may or may not be a surprise... but trust me to the people that do - It's a surprise.  However, I wasn't very popular.  So how did this happen -breaking the age old law of high school social class.  Well a few things:

1) I was on the "Hockey"squad.  Despite the fact that I lived in the "Hockey State" and despite the fact that Hockey is awesome! - this was not the cool squad to be on.  (Correct Answer: Basketball)

2) As I mentioned earlier I lived (and live)  in the Hockey State (Minnesota). Cheerleading wasn't nearly the thing it is in the South.  And at my school - it was even less of a thing.  (Though it is a thing there now). Needless to say it wasn't a free ride to the A class.

It mattered to me then that I wasn't cool, and it bothered me that I couldn't just fix it my joining a "sport".  As time as gone - the desire to be "popular" has pretty much diminished entirely from my life.   In college I was recognized, and had a vast circle of friends.  I even partied with the cheerleaders! lol.  When I graduated I thought this sort of recognition might continue - and to a great extent the experience has given me the confidence to be myself regardless.  However, I felt there was a similar sort of "high-school" social system at the last place I worked.  It was awkward because I had grown past any need to play "social games", but at times I still felt a sense of being an outcast.  Some of the same insecurities I had in high-school cropped up from time to time and it made me feel helpless.  As soon as I left most of those feelings were gone.  Problem solved.

Not quite - I'm left with a scared feeling that whatever high-school awkwardness, uncoolness, insecurites? aren't gone, but just minimized by environment.  Do you think that how we were treated in highschool affects who we are?  Should it?       

Sunday, January 10, 2010


So I have decided to tread a little deeper into the world of twitter - For those of you who are in the big leagues is there anything I need to know? and... oh yeah - follow me!  Thanks.

Saturday, January 9, 2010


I am a talkative individual. No matter the topic I find a personal antidote from my life to babble on and on about. I have great friends who are great listeners, but unfortunately I know that the all to commonly the situation occurs where I am over powering the conversation and demanding constant attention to my life.

I have a couple theories as to why this is:

1) I am loathsome and selfish. I actually don't think this is true, but I am familiar with my Strengths, as everyone should be (sorry for the plug). But anyhow three of my top five are: Input, Ideation and Significance. That's like a triple whammy for HAS A BIG MOUTH. Or in other words I am someone who has lots of ideas, needs to share them, and desires to be important (errr hmmm....).

2) I was raised with supportive, but demanding parents. My parents wanted to know everything about my life. (and I DO MEAN EVERYTHING!) In fact, I'm 25 and I still think they want to know everything. That being said - for most of my life I told them everything. I couldn't just say I'll be out late, I had to qualify that. I knew that everything I did and said needed to be "explained". They were willing to listen - but I've come to realize that not everyone else needs that level of explanation from me. I can't just say "I'll have a hamburger" -- I have to say " I'll have a hamburger, because I know for a fact that these particular hamburgers are low calorie, and I really do enjoy the taste of beef, don't worry I agree grass fed is better, and by no means am I trying to disrespect the vegan population". One might assume here that this level of explanation is a bit exhausting, and one might be right.

3)A recent article in "Real Simple" magazine suggest that "lack of a proper outlet" and by this they mean "friends" may the core reason for "The Talker". Well, there might be some truth to this - Friend Time and Friend Count have both been declining variables since college. Also, I move out of my old chruch community, and while the interactions I was having there weren't always the highest quality - they were at least interactions. Also, I lost my job a few months ago, and while that job was mostly a stressful God-forsaken experience - I did have people to talk to there.

What's to come of all this - well I'm going to start posting more, which will mean not being as perfectionist about it. I write a lot of stuff and then I leave it in draft mode. Also, I start a new job monday that will require a lot of talking. So maybe I will find a balance soon. The last couple friend dates I've had have been pretty much me dumping my entire life onto them as fast and as ruthlessly as possible.