Saturday, January 9, 2010


I am a talkative individual. No matter the topic I find a personal antidote from my life to babble on and on about. I have great friends who are great listeners, but unfortunately I know that the all to commonly the situation occurs where I am over powering the conversation and demanding constant attention to my life.

I have a couple theories as to why this is:

1) I am loathsome and selfish. I actually don't think this is true, but I am familiar with my Strengths, as everyone should be (sorry for the plug). But anyhow three of my top five are: Input, Ideation and Significance. That's like a triple whammy for HAS A BIG MOUTH. Or in other words I am someone who has lots of ideas, needs to share them, and desires to be important (errr hmmm....).

2) I was raised with supportive, but demanding parents. My parents wanted to know everything about my life. (and I DO MEAN EVERYTHING!) In fact, I'm 25 and I still think they want to know everything. That being said - for most of my life I told them everything. I couldn't just say I'll be out late, I had to qualify that. I knew that everything I did and said needed to be "explained". They were willing to listen - but I've come to realize that not everyone else needs that level of explanation from me. I can't just say "I'll have a hamburger" -- I have to say " I'll have a hamburger, because I know for a fact that these particular hamburgers are low calorie, and I really do enjoy the taste of beef, don't worry I agree grass fed is better, and by no means am I trying to disrespect the vegan population". One might assume here that this level of explanation is a bit exhausting, and one might be right.

3)A recent article in "Real Simple" magazine suggest that "lack of a proper outlet" and by this they mean "friends" may the core reason for "The Talker". Well, there might be some truth to this - Friend Time and Friend Count have both been declining variables since college. Also, I move out of my old chruch community, and while the interactions I was having there weren't always the highest quality - they were at least interactions. Also, I lost my job a few months ago, and while that job was mostly a stressful God-forsaken experience - I did have people to talk to there.

What's to come of all this - well I'm going to start posting more, which will mean not being as perfectionist about it. I write a lot of stuff and then I leave it in draft mode. Also, I start a new job monday that will require a lot of talking. So maybe I will find a balance soon. The last couple friend dates I've had have been pretty much me dumping my entire life onto them as fast and as ruthlessly as possible.


Matthew Purland said...

It's very important to share your thoughts and ideas with others. I tend to have the same need for someone else to reflect on my thoughts and ideas as well. Sometimes sharing with others isn't what is always needed in all situations. We may want to talk about our issues, ideas, or thoughts but perhaps we should listen to the need to "listen" rather than our inherent need to talk and share with others and be more self sacrificial in that way.

Matt @ The Church of No People said...

Ruby, I don't even know what to do with your comment, except not be surprised by it. Possibly the only contest I would win would be a looking-like-a-geek contest.

Ruby Leigh said...

Matt - I appreciate that you can take that with stride! I'm sure I've won a few "geek" contests myself.