Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Women's Sizes - A connundrum

So PriorFatGirl asks a question about women's sizes ... which got me down a train of thought I have often been on before.... See snippet from historical post made on my old blog:

Thursday, July 15, 2004
some thoughts...I think that women's sizes are
etremely messed up. somehow, depending on where I shop I range in size from a 12
in girls to a 5. Realizing that I am still a petite person, I think this is crazy,
guys are always the same wherever they go. I think this may explain why so many
women struggle with eating disorders.

Years later, I still say the size thing can be annoying. I also find that since I have been generally the same size for a long time. I really can't tell what size anybody is. I tend to just think everyone is my size. Which is interesting, since I am approxamately a 2... so in other words I am probably wrong. I am often suprised when I go shopping and find out what sizes people actually are. I think "You're and 8?!? I thought we were the same size." I don't say this out load though, because I am afraid it might be offensive. My old roommate would oft be annoyed as I would exclaim "Let's share clothes" or "Do you want to borrow my shirt"- She'd look at me like I was on crack and be like "Like I can fit into your clothes?!" The thing was I hadn't thought about it before. (Truly). Anyhow, it was annoying for me as well, because she had awesome clothes.

The other odd thing is I will see "thin" people in public places and I will have this conversation with the hubby.

Me: she's really thin. *gesturing towards thin woman*
Hubby: Ruby Leigh, you ARE really thin
Me: Am I really that thin ? *in tone of disbelief*
Hubby: Yes, very similar. *nodding*

Hmph?

Okay - so here is the other thing despite my apparent dysphormia - I have a really healthy body image. I'm not saying I love every detail (bigger boobs would be nice), but usually I am happy with my overall look. I know that I am not overweight, but I just don't see myself as being as thin as I am.

So umm... how insane am I? Do other people ever feel this way?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

All this and brains too!

My husband and I attend a monthy BBQ with friends from our church. It is a really fun and relaxing time for us. That being said I got into a conversation with some of my peers this last time that was more theological / intellectual. I wouldn't say it was anything uber deep or personal, but the ideas were a little more "challenging" so to speak. At any rate, I began adding my thoughts and comments accordingly, but before long I sensed I was being sniped out of the conversation. It's difficult to say why this happened, but the remaining participants were both male... and in my opinion they were affronted by intellect in the female form.

I have felt as though there is a narrowing margin of tolerance in the church for the intellectual - which seems to be much narrower for women. You see - I read a number of emerging christian blogs: nakedpastor, The church of no people, God's Eclectic, and Slacktivist. While I would consider all of these blogs pro-intellect, they have another thing in common - the authors are all men! Hmm... another thing I was just at crosswalk.com and I saw their blog roll.... only two women! A recent article at Pew Forum makes the conclusion that we accept women as authorities in our politics, but not in our faith.

It seems there are many outlets for women to feel at church, but not to think. A local congregation does not allow women to teach a class to anyone over the age of 12. Our church is not nearly this extreme, but I only have seen one instance a woman preaching a full-length sermon since I have been attending. (And we bring in guest speakers all the time -- and the pastor's sister is a speaker)Are women wishing this for themselves? Recently Anne (flowerdust.net) asks "Where are the women church planters?" It seems to me, that even though more women attend church our level of leadership is lower? Does anyone know what is causing this? Are there parallels in the secular realm?

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

They are only words...

As a regular blog reader, though my own blog remains largely inactive, I have come to find a I have my favorites. The ones I rush to read as soon as they are posted, ones that consistently add something new, or some spark! While many of the blogs I subscribe to are great - One that is always a first priority is PriorFatGirl. Jen, aka PriorFatGirl, shares her story of triumph over the scale with great deal of fun - but also with a lot of honesty.

However, as I was reading a recent post - I notice a statement that concerned me and I felt
compelled to comment. SO I said something:

.....
Also - Not trying to be an alarmist - but pehaps you should think about this quote: "I know if some of you were told you should be eating more, you would roll your eyes and ignore the advice too - right?" has the potential to deliver the wrong message. (Especially to a bunch of young women who want to lose weight) Because some people need to eat more. And those people should listen to the people that tell them to do so. And there are real issues when you don't eat the food your body needs.


So I'm assuming the best and that you are eating healthily - and enough. But I just felt I needed to say something - at least for my own state of being, if nothing else.

I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do or not, because I certainly don't know the whole situation, and I never want to be see as self-righteous. However, today I read a new post and found, much to my suprise, I had been highlighted in the new prior fat girl post! Here is what she said:

Ruby Leigh made a VERY GOOD comment I wanted to point out. To digress, sometimes I write things which make sense at the moment but to someone else reading later, may have a completely different meaning or may not be in the same context as was in my head when I wrote it.

I wrote yesterday I was holding off on purchasing a heart rate monitor & calorie counter thingie because I was scared it would tell me to eat more calories and if it did, I would probably ignore it. BUT…as Ruby Leigh pointed out, this could be read in a variety of ways.

This is a hard topic for me because there are some things I have yet to address on this blog. Today is not the day. But let me just say this. My eating has always been an issue for me. I have struggled with it in a variety of ways. Because of that, I am super sensitive to how “extreme” I become. I try to be very aware and perceptive to my own feelings and actions. My support system is also very sensitive to my actions.

What I failed to do, was be accountable to you, my readers. I started this blog with just the intent to share my journey, share frustrations with others and receive support. But over the past year, it has also become a source of inspiration and motivation for so many. So, it is my responsibility to you, my readers & my friends, to ensure the message I write every day is not misread or encourages unhealthy actions.

Your comments mean a lot to me – I take into consideration everything you say and just want to say thank you for always being open with me. I appreciate them all, agree or disagree.

First, I had to get over how totally awesome it was that I was featured in on THE PRIORFATGIRL site (How cool is that?!?!) Two, I was uber impressed with the maturity at which my original comment was received... very cool. Three, in a more serious tone now, I don't wish to ever make light of issues with eating, of any kind. I have had friends (in my non-virtual life as well) with similar struggles, and I have often felt powerless to do anything about it. I was nervous to say what I said, but I know sometimes it is the little things that make a big difference. I knew that if it wasn't the author's struggle, it could have been someone else reading the blog. At any rate - I am overwhelmed with the level of respect and thoughtfulness of this response and am so glad I said something